Blue Funking Raw Food

Shit happens.  Actually, quite a lot of shit happens.

I last posted a year ago.  At that time, I was in reflective mood.  The truth is, I had reached a point in my life where everything had changed.  It was a year since my Mum had died and 4 months since my Dad had followed her.  I was 3 months into my 3rd job in 2 years.  I had been an arthritic for 30 years and I was beginning to allow this thought to define my life.  I was looking back and worrying about what lay ahead.

Rewind 18 months and I wasn’t in a great place.  The effects of stress were beginning to impact every aspect of my life.  My health took a prolonged downward turn and my arthritis flared beautifully, which just fuelled my stress.  I even found that music wasn’t lifting my spirits.

Music has played a big part in my life since I was a teenager.  Not just listening, but playing, writing and recording.  I’ve played in bands since I was 15 and I’ve been very lucky to end up in some great bands with great people. I have lovely gear – just check out my see-thru drum kit!img_2021

But, I wasn’t happy playing with my mates.  Setting up for a gig left me stressed and angry.  Little issues (there are always issues when setting up) got right up my arse.  By the time we were going on stage, I would be wound up and, sometimes, I felt like walking out and giving up.  Not like me at all.

When my Mum died after a long decline into dementia, there was some relief.  She hadn’t known any of the family for a long time and I was happy for her that she had been released from her lonely world.

My Dad, my hero, was her carer even though he was well into his 80s.  He gave my Mum the dignity of dying at home with her family around her –  a promise he made when she was more herself.  A few months later and, instead of his life being more relaxed and less stressful, my Dad discovered that he was dying from a massive tumour in his colon.  My brother, sister and I became his carers and we took shifts staying at the family home to look after him.

My stress turned into depression.  The blue funk.

We buried my Dad in the same week that I had the interview for my current job.  As well as interview prep, I was in the middle of preparing a eulogy and rehearsing a song – yes, I played the ukulele and sang at my Dad’s funeral.  After, hopefully, making everyone laugh with a song taking the piss a little (I think my Dad would’ve liked it) I stood and delivered the eulogy in the church where he had been an Elder.  The day after the funeral, I got the job.  That whole week is a blur.

kickballsMy doctor took an aggressive approach.  I don’t mean he slapped me around and kicked me in the bollocks, which may have helped, he prescribed a drug regime to rid me of the self-destructive and negative thoughts.

It worked to a point.  But recently I feel like I’ve been going round and round in a circle with no corner to turn to get out.

Trapped.  Stuck.  Eating the wrong food and drinking too much.  All of the things opposite to the paleo lifestyle that gave me such amazing results 5 years ago.  My health was shit, my head was full of shit, I was a complete shit and I felt powerless.  I had to do something different to make the change that I needed to help me move forward.

Luckily, I have a partner who loves me and cares about me.  My wife Anthea knows.  She knows how I feel, what makes me tick and watching me struggle hasn’t been easy for her AND she has had to pick up my slack when she’s busy enough herself.  It’s been shit.  But, she offered me a way out.

I was 50 in June.  Anthea’s gift to me was for me to piss off out of the house for a week.  “Just go away!” she said.  No seriously, she bought me a week at a health retreat in Spain.  I must admit, I didn’t immediately take to the idea but the more I thought about it, the more I got excited about going.

I went.

I’m just back from an amazing week at Laughter Cleanse run by two wonderful people, Jo and Claire.  I was one of four guests.  I wanted the chance to reboot, to get my head in order and to break out of my circle.  So, what happened……..?

Cleansing and Detox – we had foimg_2106ur and a half days of fresh vegetable and fruit juice, 5 times a day with some dietary supplements thrown in.  Nothing solid to eat.  Now, you’ll be thinking that I’d be bloody starving but not at all.

Then there were the enemas.  Oh yes!  The most exciting bit.  One each day during the detox period and I felt the need to keep Anthea up to date as I went along.  In fact, on the Thursday (the 4th day) I was so dissatisfied with the results of my enema that I did another one.  Ah, that’s better.

I recommend everyone do this.  You really don’t know just how full of shit you all are!  The volume and colour of the stuff that’s probably been languishing in my colon for years was pretty impressive.  I took photos but I won’t share.

A big part of the week for me was our morning routine:

  1. 10 minutes of laughter – everyone lying on the floor pissing themselves laughing, releasing enough endorphins for the whole day
  2. Joy Fit – getting the lymph flowing
  3. 45 minutes of yoga, which I just loved, loved, loved
  4. 15 minutes of meditation – awesome!

img_2103Then there was the location.  How can you NOT feel good being in a place like this?

Loads of time and space to do your own thing, chill, snooze, read, chat, listen to music, have another enema or two, whatever.

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Nutrition – the juices were bloody lovely.  We had either ginger or turmeric shots each morning, followed by delicious vegetable and/or fruit juices freshly made from organic produce.  Awesome!

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We also had this disgusting stuff called Spirulina twice a day – the trick was just to get it down as quickly as possible.  It’s pretty awesome stuff but tastes horrendous.  I won’t go into its many health benefits, just Google it people!

Friday was solid food day.  Raw.  Vegan.  Now, I bet you’re thinking that raw vegan food is bland, tasteless, dry, all nuts, salad, cardboard and hemp washed down with water.  Well, that’s the image I had in my head.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

We ate glorious pad Thai, amazing Mediterranean olive and walnut bread, banana and ginger ice cream, key lime pie among other things.  All raw, wheat free, dairy free, sugar free and more delicious than you can possibly imagine.

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Why raw?  Well, we still have the bodies of our hunter gatherer ancestors.  Same idea as paleo.  In the last 200 years and especially in the last 50 years, we have moved to processing pretty much all of our food.  We add chemicals to make it last longer, sugar to make it taste nice and bulk it out, E numbered compounds that we have no idea about, MSG, etc.  The list goes on.

Yet we still have the genetic makeup of hunter gatherers.  A few hundred years isn’t enough for evolution to allow our bodies to adapt, that would take a few hundred thousand years if not more.  The bulk of what we put into our bodies is unnatural and toxic to us.  Again, same idea as paleo.

The difference between raw and paleo is cooking – duh, no shit Sherlock!  Cooking kills the enzymes – the life force – of the food.  Now, I’m not turning into a hippy and I’m not about to grow a long beard or anything like that, but it does make sense.  We’re designed and we’ve evolved to live in harmony with nature and our surroundings.  Our bodies are geared up for raw food, using the natural enzymes in it to help us digest and pull nutrition from it.

It all sounds very Avatar but why shouldn’t it be like that?

Raw food (either completely raw or dehydrated) maintains the life of the enzymes.  It made me feel really good.  My body is an amazing thing, as is yours.  It wants to heal itself.  It’s desperate to be given the clean, non toxic fuel to help it do just that.

The Future – So, what was my outcome?  Did I reboot?  Was it the change I needed?

You betcha baby!

Days 1 and 2 were odd.  I was tired.  I retreated to my room and slept a lot.  I needed the privacy to be with myself and reflect.  Day 3 was odd.  I had a sore head all day and a grumbly tummy – not through hunger, I hadn’t given myself long enough on the bog after my enema.  I squirted all day and almost followed through a few times.  Nasty.

On Day 4, I woke up and felt superb.  I literally jumped out of bed (I haven’t felt like that for over 3 years) and when I looked in the mirror, there was a healthy person looking back at me.  My energy was up.  My head felt more clear.  I felt happy – that was unusual!

Day 5 was even better.  I slept so well the night before (again, something that hadn’t happened a lot).  I felt energetic.  Feck, what’s going on!?

Day 6.  More of the same and more.

Day 7 and beyond.  Well, I’m on day 11 today.  I have, with the exception of a couple of meals, maintained a raw diet.  I feel great.  I’ve had a sore and swollen right ankle which has given me a limp for around 3 years.  It’s getting better.  The chronic inflammation in my hands is receding.  My right shoulder is less sore.  I have a little more stamina.  I feel a little stronger.  My head is more clear.

I’m going to continue.  I have to.  I owe it to myself and my family to give this everything.

In my last post I talked about having another 35 years to go.  If I’m lucky and that’s the case, I’ll have been living with rheumatoid arthritis for 80% of my life.  A scary thought?  Maybe.

Maybe I won’t have to.

 

30 Years an Arthritic

I haven’t been near this blog for a good long while – my bad (as the youngsters say these days).  A few of my colleagues and friends have also asked me why they hadn’t seen anything on my blog for a while – oh, the shame!

Then, just tonight, a friend of my wife, who now lives in Australia, IM’d her to ask if I’d ever found a paleo diet to be helpful.  Laura has had an amazing transformation to health and feeling awesome by cutting out wheat and sugar.  Of course, yes, I have had an amazing transformation too – and I’ve had a few ups and downs along the way.

And, I have reached a milestone of sorts.  I’ve now had arthritis for 60% of my life – 30 years.  This has made me reflect a bit on what this means and what the next phase of living with this challenging disease might be like.

It’s been a long story.  I had my 1st symptoms in August 1985.  I remember it very well because I had not long returned from an Interrail holiday around Europe with my mate Andy.  I would wake in the middle of the night, sweating, with an excruciatingly sore knee, wrist, shoulder, ankle – never the same joint twice.  I wouldn’t be able to move, the pain was searing and I could do nothing other than lie shivering in my own sweat until I drifted off to sleep again – which did happen eventually.  I woke up the next day feeling worn out but the pain in whatever joint was affected had completely disappeared.

The night sweats and sore joints continued to happen but were fairly random.  I went to see my GP.  He poo-pooed my complaints and brushed them aside, saying that there was no physical evidence to show that anything was wrong and it was probably ‘my age’.  He was a prick!  Even my Mum thought so.  And that wasn’t the only time I went to see the prick about the same thing.

I don’t dwell on whether proper investigation at that time may have given me a better outcome.  I prefer to look forward – most of the time.

Anyway, 2 years of random symptoms culminated in “The Bloody Nightmare” when I was 21.  This was likely triggered by stress.  I have learned recently that stress and anxiety contribute to health and wellbeing like nothing I could have ever imagined.

Anyway, back to The Bloody Nightmare.  When I was 21, I moved to London.  I was in a relationship.  We were staying with her parents.  Overnight, my whole life changed.  I was travelling up to 4 hours a day to and from work (nothing that I had ever experienced before).  The relationship wasn’t as rosy as I thought it was going to be.  Her father was ill with a chronic degenerative disease and, as I saw it, didn’t receive a great deal of support or sympathy from his wife.  Her parent’s relationship was frosty at best and sometimes explosive.  My girlfriend was suffocatingly jealous.  I had very little in the way of ‘a life’.  It was hell.

I left.

I had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 3 weeks prior to me packing my car with everything I had.  I drove off not knowing where I was going to stay.

Trauma City!  Through a friend of a friend I found somewhere to go.  But, within a couple of weeks my arthritis had flared and I couldn’t control my pain, I could hardly move, I couldn’t sleep, I stopped going to work, I lost weight.  Everything went to shit.  Stress.

Fast forward three months and I was being treated by Dr Terence Gibson and his team at Guy’s Hospital.  I’ll never forget him, he was a lovely man and we ended up on 1st name terms.  He got my disease under control.

Everything was awesome and I drifted into remission.  Aside from my left hip deteriorating, my symptoms were few and far between.  A massive flare up in 2005 rekindled my relationship with the NHS.  Lots of investigation, experimenting with different combinations of drugs and 2 years later, I had a treatment regime that worked.

But, I didn’t get better in the way I expected or wanted.  So, I tried paleo.

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This is a Facebook post from September 2011.  In fact, I am now a steady 69/70 kilos, that’s just where I levelled out.  I started at 87 kilos (13 stones and 10 pounds).  I can’t quite remember being that heavy or even believe that I was.

Paleo saved me.  There is no doubt that I would still be on a very heavy drug regime and still be feeling that something was missing, had I not changed my way of life.  I still take drugs, but at nowhere near the frequency that I used to.

But, it has been a challenge.  You just have to read back through the posts on the blog to get a sense of how much.  But I am still determined and I will never go back.  And, I really have never felt so well.

So, what of the future?  30 years is a long time to live with anything and it does have it’s consequences.  A lot (I would say, most) people with rheumatoid start to have symptoms in their late 30s/early 40s.  By the time most people have had this for 30 years, they’re likely into their 70s – and don’t forget that treatments for RA in 2015 are much more sophisticated that they were in the 80s.  This likely means that the inevitable damage to their bodies is better controlled.

I’m 49.  I’d like to think that I have another 35 years to go. That’s another 35 years of living with arthritis.  I am already finding that bits of me need corrected, so I have become cautious about the future, which is a new feeling for me and it doesn’t sit at all well.

Darrach

I’ve just had surgery on my left wrist.  This is a before and after picture of Darrach’s Procedure (this isn’t my x-ray, but it’s what my wrist will look like right now).

In the procedure, the head of the Ulna is removed to save the tendon that operates the pinkie, as it runs over it.

In rheumatoid arthritis, the ends of bones can get a bit rough and, if there’s a tendon in the way, it’s kind of like running a bit of twine over a saw blade.  So, it had to go.  In fact, not one to do stuff by halves, the surgery extended to removing lumps of chronically inflamed (and solid) tissue and freeing the tendons for all 4 fingers.

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So, I have another nice scar.  I also have a very comfortable splint, which makes the joint feel much more secure.  Honestly, I’m three weeks in and the thing still doesn’t feel like my own.

And it’s a bit sore.

And, if I move my wrist at all I can feel the end of the bone moving around – and that is very unpleasant.  But in a kind of good way!

And my drumming has had to take a back seat, which is a complete bummer as the band are very busy.  New band, I have moved on.

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And in the last year I took up the ukulele, which is absolutely the best fun instrument to play.  I was introduced to it by my muso friend, Leon, who is an awesome guitarist, mandolin player, pianist, etc, etc, etc.  He’s one of these guys who can get a tune out of anything – bastard!

Anyway, Leon and I frequent the local Open Mic Nights and have some fun singing and playing.  But, that has taken a back seat too.

But, I’ll be back.  Like the Terminator – or a bad smell.

And what about other bits of me that may need a ‘correction?’  Well, my surgeon is already looking at my right wrist and talking about doing the same.  My 3 dislocated toes could be corrected with surgery but I’ve resisted.  I have an issue with my neck, which may force surgery in the future, but I really hope not.  My right hand could be straightened by replacing the knuckle joints, but I really don’t fancy that right now.

I could just go into hospital for a couple of weeks, get them to do everything and come out a new man!  I’m joking, but, this is the consequence of having a chronic disease for 30 years.  Things get bad and need some specialist help.

Could my outcome have been different?  I never think about what my life could’ve been like if the prick had acted differently.  Would I be better?  Would it have been an easier ride?  Would I have needed these various surgeries?  Would my wife and family not have had to deal with me being ill and in hospital numerous times?

It’s pointless to think that way.  I am who I am because of my experience and I kind of like who I am.

The one thing I do think about is, “If only I had known about paleo years ago, before all this shit happened”.  As a 19 or 21 year old, I may have poo-pooed the idea (like the prick) but, I did try various, apparently amazing, diets which claimed to be cures.  I even ate raw liver for heaven’s sake!  So, I’d like to think that I would’ve been receptive and would have given it a try.

Well, 4 years after giving it a try, I still believe it’s the right way to nourish yourself and the best way to a healthy life.  I haven’t reclaimed the same feeling I had when, after 3 months of being strictly paleo, I stepped away from my drugs.  But, in the last couple of years, I have had a few challenges, which I may or may not talk about!

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But, here I am.  Feeling guilty that I haven’t written anything for over a year.  Feeling humbled that people have asked why I haven’t been writing and that they want to hear more.  Feeling good about sitting in front of my PC at 1:40am getting this stuff down after a friend gave me a nudge (albeit without her knowing).

Feeling that I do have something to say and that, maybe, I could make a difference, even if it was just to one person – it would be worth it.  Feeling renewed and determined to keep writing.  Feeling like I should go to bed but I need to sort out the cat litter tray – bugger!

Feeling slightly embarrassed by the naff picture (I tried and tried but I just looked daft).

Be determined.  Be paleo.  Live healthy.

I Could Eat A Horse!

And I have eaten horse.  Not because I have unwittingly bought it in a processed ready-meal, but because I chose to.

I was in France, I was 20, ready to try anything and I had horse filet, medium.  My memory is rather hazy (I can remember eating crocodile, emu and kangaroo in Australia rather more clearly) but I think horse was quite good.

Finding horse-meat in processed food in the UK should come as no surprise.  I am amazed by the reaction, to be honest.  The food industry is out of control, fuelled by greedy retailers looking for cheaper product and higher profits.

For me, trying to manage an autoimmune disease with diet, food has become a very important part of my life.  I place a very high value on good food made with good ingredients and I spend a little bit more time than I used to sourcing quality ingredients, meal planning, re-using left overs, recycling bones and pretty much squeezing every bit of goodness from the food we buy.

Breakfast

For example, here’s what I had for breakfast a couple of days ago.  These are pork meatballs, cold, left over from the night before, with a boiled egg and some of my gorgeous homemade mayonnaise.

A couple of years ago, they would have gone in the bin.  But, why throw away perfectly good food – and, what’s wrong with having something like this for breakfast – absolutely nothing!  We are conditioned by the clever and greedy people who call themselves the food industry to eat cereals and toast 1st thing in the morning.  Of course, that’s what Paleolithic man would be eating – Cheerios and bread?

Why?  Because we’re told it’s good for us.  But really, why?  Because it’s what we all start the day with along with a cup of tea – it’s the convention.  But really really, why?  Because it’s abundant and sustainable, that’s good isn’t it.  But really really really, why?  Because we tell you to and because it makes us money.

Who says that we have to conform to a convention?  A convention designed to make the food industry money?  I’ll tell you who, the bloomin’ food industry, that’s who!

It’s all about money.  Money and greed.  What the food industry is NOT about is delivering good, wholesome, nourishing, responsibly sourced food.  Our processed food is full of chemicals to make it taste better, to keep it on the shelf longer, loaded with salt, bulked up with sugar, ground up bones, eyeballs, testicles, glands, anuses, maybe even feces, dyed to make it look nice and shoved full of all manner of other detritus that would likely make us barf, if we knew about it.

You really have to wonder what goes into a really cheap ready-meal and the thing that we are slowly discovering is, actually, no-one does know.

System

Retailers, especially those in the UK, are maybe waking up to this.  They, along with manufacturers, have created a perverse system, fuelled by greed and it works a bit like this.

This constant pushing down of margins puts people out of business, makes people scared.  We’ve seen this recently with price-fixing of milk, where powerful retailers drove businesses to breaking point, just to make a bit of money.

The horse-meat saga is no different, with retailers and manufacturers creating a system where meat products move around the world, as people try to source it at the cheapest prices.  Sight of the supply chain is lost, no-one really knows where it comes from and no-one really cares.

As the system pushes further and further away from fully understanding where the process starts and what it looks like end to end, criminal activity can, and probably does, creep in and goes unnoticed.  Or, the system turns a blind eye to it because greedy people don’t really care about things like that.

I am reminded of a line from Aliens, when Ripley has found Carter Burke out to be a nasty, greedy piece of work, willing to sacrifice the lives of Ripley and Newt just to make a bit of money and she says (of the aliens who want to use them as hosts for alien babies), “I don’t know which species is worse.  You don’t see them fucking each other over for a Goddamned percentage”.

Too true.  Humans will be the death of the human race.

This system has become too complicated and corrupt.  The supply chain isn’t a chain any more, it’s a web and no-one has a clue what’s going on.  I wouldn’t be surprised if there was cat, dog, rat and other unexpected things in the food some of us choose to buy.

There have been many studies warning that the human race is going to grow so big that, within 60 years, we won’t be able to produce enough food to feed the planet.  We’ll end up having to rethink what we eat.  Insects will become a primary source of protein.  I suspect we’re already there, we just don’t know it!

I’m a Systems Thinker.  If you’re not sure what that is look up Vanguard Consulting and check out some of the brilliant work these people do.  One of my favourite people is the head of this organisation, a man called John Seddon.

I learned Systems Thinking from him and I had the privilege of working with a few of his people about 10 years ago.  The experience changed my life, my perspective and the track of my career.  Part of my job is process consultancy and they key thing to understand in any system or process is what happens end to end.

John says, “It’s the system, stupid!” meaning that when strange behaviours happen, it’s the system that the people work within that drives it.  As a systems thinker, none of the horse-meat saga surprises me.  The behaviour of the people supplying each part of the process, trying to make a bit of money and constantly being squeezed is driven by fear, greed, constant pressure to deliver for less – in other words, the system created by the people at the head.

And at the head are the retailers.  People will try to blame all the other parts of the system but it’s those who have made the system that carry the blame.  They have lost lost sight of what’s important, put money before everything else, turned a blind eye and, ultimately, stopped caring for their customers – if they ever did in the first place.

This is one very good reason why I don’t buy processed food and I source my meat from local suppliers.  I understand my supply chain very well.  I buy from a butcher. The butcher is a partner in a farm.  The beef, pork, chicken comes from the farm, via an abattoir to the butcher.  Simple.  The beef is grass-fed, the pork is pastured and the chicken properly free range – and the difference in taste is unbelievable!

ChickensTake today (Sunday 3rd March) I’m cooking two chickens.  Free range, not that expensive – in fact, Tesco and Sainsbury are more pricey – and they are just different to anything else I’ve cooked.

When you pick them up, they’re soft, pliable, they flop in your hands, you can tell they’re more tender just by lifting them up.  I was quite excited explaining this to my wife.

They are beautiful things.  When I think about the last chicken we bought from a well-known retail giant, it was solid, heavy, probably full of water, likely finished on a grain diet to make it fat and just not that nice.

The taste is different too.  I have NEVER tasted anything like the chickens we buy now and my wife, who is the resident ‘chicken-picker-downer’ and really didn’t like handling the stuff, loves carving them and stripping the carcass once we’ve finished eating – she says the meat is like butter, beautiful, tender and juicy.

But that’s not the end of the chicken – no.  We make it last.  We eat one with roasted vegetables, then we have lots of meat left over.

Chicken

This will probably make two more meals, likely a curry and maybe something else, if we can keep our hands off – it’s just so lovely!

I’ll use some for the girls’ lunches and it’ll provide snacks if we’re feeling peckish.

Then there are the bones.  We waste nothing at all and we make a big batch of stock every week.

Stock

I can use a lot of stock (or broth) in a week because I’m always cooking casseroles, curries, soups and the stock we make is really tasty.  In fact, it’s so tasty I’ve started to drink it.

Really, drinking stock isn’t as mental as you think. I remember my Mum giving me an Oxo cube dissolved in boiling water as a wee boy – this is no different, just way tastier!

There’s a lot to be said for drinking bone broth and I have been reading this courtesy of my neighbour, who is also paleo, a systems thinker and a big fan of John Seddon – we’re always swapping notes!

ChickenFatThen there’s all the lovely juice that comes from a chicken.  I cool it down, skim off the fat and freeze the jelly to make gravy.

Our roasted veg is always done in the fat from the previous week’s chicken.  It makes the veg taste amazing!

You might think that all of this takes time. it’s too difficult, we all have busy lives, blah de blah!  No, it’s not difficult or time-consuming.

It’s cost-effective and it makes our food go further.  We can eek out 3 great family meals from two chickens, snacks and lunches for the kids, stock for soups, casseroles and curries, lovely light and pure fat for roasting veg and the base for gravy.  My family has never eaten so well or had such tasty food.

The key thing is, know what you’re buying.  Understand where it comes from, support your butcher, have a chat with him, find out about his supply chain, buy local, use it well.

Above all, though, just enjoy some really lovely grub!

Oh, and by the way, horse-meat is just meat.  The beef market is so expensive for manufacturers that, of course, people are going to look for other sources to bulk out their supplies and make some money.  Why does this surprise anyone?  It might actually be good for you, so say the BBC!

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The Log Is The Blog

In my last post, I shared the story of the latest visit to my rheumatologist, just after the New Year.  I’m officially off the drugs now, but slightly nervous about not having that crutch to lean on now and again.

So, I decided to keep a daily log of what’s going on with my body and how I feel about it all.  I imagined that I would be able to show a history of wellness of which I could be rightfully proud.  I really didn’t expect my notes to be as surprising as they have been…..

…..or lead me in another direction.  Intrigued?  Read on…..

Here is an excerpt of the first few weeks.  There is much more to the spreadsheet than this, with frank notes about how I feel, what I’ve been drinking and eating, etc, so this is just a small piece.

Log Excerpt

The first surprise was when I last took my drugs.  I really didn’t think it was as long ago as the end of November.  I hadn’t looked back and worked it out until now – I’m into my 10th week, which isn’t too shabby.  In the last 18 months, the longest I’ve gone without medication has been, I think, 7 weeks.

I say ‘I think’ because I’ve never kept a log before – stupid boy!  Please say “stupid boy” to yourself in the tone of Capt. Mainwaring.  The exact detail of how long (if it isn’t 7 weeks) is lost in my misty memory of the last 18 months, so I’m putting a positive slant on this.  I’ve had to remind myself to stay positive because I haven’t been feeling quite right, which brings me to my 2nd raised eyebrow.

Log persistent

As you can see, my fingers have been giving me a little trouble.  It’s unusual for them to be this bad for this long and it has messed with my head a bit.

When I reflect, they’ve just been a bit swollen and a little sore and nothing too bad.  I suppose, when you look at the log, I scored the pain low for a reason.  They have been showing a slow improvement from 1 or 2 to <1 and 0+ over the last couple of weeks.

Yes, I even had to make up a 0+ rating as the swelling was there, but only just and the pain more like a discomfort.  I’m at odds with myself about whether 0+ is the same as <1, but that’s just the statistician in me being pedantic.  Pedantic, moi?

Anyway, I made it through a band rehearsal with no trouble and no after affects, so I think I’m just used to feeling well and could be overreacting a bit.  It is still messing with my head, though, and I’m not usually a worrier.  When I realised I’d gone 9 weeks, I started to think I might be pushing it a bit.  My thoughts have drifted towards the store of drugs that I still have in the house………….but, no, I’m hanging in.

The next thing that surprised me was my morning stiffness.

Now, if you’ve just taken a mouthful of tea, try to swallow it.  OK, regained your composure?  Good.

Log Morning

Anyone with rheumatoid will tell you that a night lying still can make your whole body as stiff as a board.  Mornings can be very slow and very painful – I’ve been there and it’s truly awful.

Doctors always ask about pain first thing in the morning and how long it lasts, so it’s an important factor in assessing how well someone is.

I’ve had hardly any at all, except a couple of times when my joints have twinged and given me a little bother, but not much to speak of.  There have also been a few times during the day when random aches and pains have appeared, but also bearable and not that bad.

My mornings have surprised me, given the terrible sleep I have and this is the biggest revelation from keeping the log – sleep!  Sleep is so important and I’m just crap at it.

Actually, that’s not true.  When it happens, it’s great.  I’m just crap at making it happen.

Over the last – I dunno how long – I have drifted into the habit of not going to bed.  My wife and I have busy lives with work, kids, band and all the stuff you have to do to make it all hang together, so when it comes to settling down of an evening, we’re tired.  My wife knows when she’s tired and toddles off to bed.  I always say, “I’ll just watch the end of this and I’ll be up later.”

This is where it all goes to hell.  Within about 10 minutes, sometimes more, I’m asleep sitting on the couch.  Sometimes I’ll find my way into a lying position and wake up at 3 or 4am.  Then I’m up!  I may make it upstairs, I may not.  At 4am our cats (we have 2) are quite active – they know I’m up and they make noises to be let out.  So, I end up doing stuff and I have been known to cook a whole meal before everyone is up in the morning.

Log Sleep

All this activity, when I should be in the deepest part of my sleep cycle, just keeps me awake.  I can and do drift back to sleep, but then my sleep cycle starts over again and, by the time I should be getting up (about 7am) I’m being dragged from deep sleep again.  This is just rubbish sleep!

If I lie on the couch, I get a sore neck and I’ve developed a painful right shoulder from having my head in a poor sleeping position.

None of this is good.  We should sleep for roughly one-third of the day.  On average, I’m sleeping for about one-quarter of my days, sometimes less.

There is compelling evidence showing that poor sleep causes systemic inflammation.  For me, a rheumatoid arthritic, that’s really bad.  Just Googlelack of sleep and inflammation’ and you’ll see what I’m on about.

Now I admit, I have played on the “Oh, I don’t get much sleep” thing and said, “Oh, ya, you know, I don’t need much sleep, right” as if I’m some kind of brilliant cool dude, but that’s just stupid.  I’ve been stupid.  It’s something I really have to change, which means a new routine.

Right now, it is Sunday the 3rd of February at 10:27pm GMT.  I have given myself a curfew, “Don’t be downstairs beyond 11pm.”  But, tonight, I still have some other stuff to do AND there are 2 episodes of the new Top Gear series to catch up on – this is my dilemma, see!

I’m still fighting with myself – just about different stuff now!  I’ve only stuck to the curfew twice in the last two weeks and I’m going to fail miserably again tonight.

Yes, I know, I’m stupid.  But, stupid or not with my sleep, I have been as clean as a whistle when it comes to food.  I am giving myself the best chance I can to get off the drugs for good and I’m remaining stoic – I just have to do the same with my other routines.

So, without further ado, night, night.

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Exorcising the Ghost…..

…..of Christmas Past!

Last Christmas, ate lots of bad stuff
And the very next day, felt pretty rough
This year, I didn’t eat crap….

And, amazingly, I feel great.  Well, when I say great, my arthritis feels great – in that, for a moment, it felt like it had gone away completely.

Of course, I don’t believe that it has gone away, but stuff has happened in the last few weeks that has started me thinking.  Never a good move, I know, but just bear with me.

I had the flu.  Not just a heavy cold and a sore throat, this was full-on, in bed for days, shivering, hot, cold, sweaty, hallucinating, aching neck, persistent sore head, nasty cough (which, three weeks on, still hasn’t gone away), streaming nose and just generally being a zombie.  I can’t remember a time when I produced SO much rancid goo.  I now know what it feels like to be the walking dead and it’s not nice at all.

All of this in the two weeks over Christmas and New Year – brilliant!

Well, actually, yes, brilliant.  Two things happened.

1.  In week 1, I stopped eating.  I had no appetite for anything so I drank lots of fluid and fasted.  Intermittent fasting is supposed to be pretty good for you – after all, our Paleolithic ancestors would have fasted on and off when they couldn’t find or catch anything to eat.

Remember, the Paleolithic era ‘fixed’ the human genome – genetically, humans haven’t caught up with our rank modern diet.  Fasting, now there’s a concept I might explore.

Anyway, for me, not eating meant no temptation to eat loads of inappropriate food – not that I would eat loads, but I do have willpower issues now and then.  So, nothing to upset the gut and fuel my rubbish immune system.

2.  Any immune system I had left was completely distracted trying to sort out my throat, head, shivers, cough, cold sweats and saving me from being a zombie (didn’t quite work).

The result?  My arthritis left me.  My little patches of psoriasis cleared up.  I had no pain (well, no joint or muscular pain).  The joints in my fingers stopped being crunchy.  My right elbow (the barometer) was like new.  My feet felt small in my shoes and the dislocated toes on my left foot gave me no trouble at all.  Apart from the flu, my body felt amazing – really amazing!

I though this was very interesting.  Very interesting indeed!

What if you could bottle the effect of a distracted immune system?  Oh, hang on, Scott, isn’t that what the drug companies have already tried to do?  Haven’t they produced lots of toxic drugs that doctors are happy to push on their behalf?  Now, you want to get off this stuff – eejit.

And what about the doctors, their relationship with drug companies and how this mighty, powerful drug industry feeds money to governments and conspires to keep us unhealthy and make billions of pounds?  Sound mad?  I could go on forever, so I’ll save that for another time.  I’m seeing my rheumatologist later this morning and I have some very interesting things to say to her – I’ll be in ‘rant mode’ next week, I can tell already.

Anyway, back to food.  During the holidays, I took my kids to spend some time with my sister’s kids and we had a bit of a blether.  Inevitably, we got round to talking about food and my sister asked, “So, what do you eat?”

Well, I eat food.  Good, natural food.  Tasty food.  Home cooked lovely stuff made with good ingredients – just like our Christmas dinner.  Last year (OK, Christmas 2011) I had a momentary lapse of reason.  Wheat, processed sugar and dairy fuelled by quite a bit of alcohol.  It took me three weeks to recover.

I had spent the previous three months fitting a bespoke kitchen in our house – with some help from family and friends – and I was able to do it because I was paleo.  I couldn’t have tackled the mammoth task unless I had spent 4 months eating the food we’re supposed to eat, which left me feeling fit, well and strong.  I finished the job on Christmas Eve (late) and I had put just about everything I had into it.  Working 14 hour days at weekends and putting in 3 or 4 hours every day after (and sometimes before) work.

I was shattered.  My guard dropped.  Everything went to Hell on Christmas Day and, boy, did I suffer for it.  That wasn’t going to happen this Christmas – oh no!  This year, we were paleotriffic!

Posh BirdHere is the bird.  Sourced from a good farm and fed good stuff.  Not quite fully paleo but we went to our usual butcher and it was as close as we could get!  I have investigated and sourced a real paleo bird for next year – rock on!

Then there’s the gravy!  Oooh, I make amazing paleo gravy with a little olive oil, shallots, the juice from a chicken or two, homemade stock, a bit of pepper and NO FLOUR.  There’s no need, it is reduced over time and I always keep a wee bit to start off the next batch.

Paleo Gravy

Here it is bubbling away.

Then there’s the stuff we roast our vegetables in.  I render my own chicken fat each time we have a roast – which is pretty much every Sunday.  It produces the most clean, pure and delicious fat, which freezes easily and melts beautifully at room temperature.

Fat

Oooh, it is lovely.  Here it is melting away with a wee touch of extra virgin olive oil for good measure.  Our roast veg was superb!

What about the wee sausages with bacon on them – pigs in blankets, you say?  Ye cannae have Christmas dinner without them.  Well, ours were made from gluten-free chipolatas and wrapped in the butchers own cure bacon from pastured pigs – very paleo indeed.  They were the best I have ever tasted and the few that were left over didn’t last long!!

Paleo PigsMy plate was filled with marvellous, tasty, gorgeous food.  We were all (and I include my wife’s parents and her brother) paleo for a day!

It was a smashing dinner and, even in my bunged up, sandpaper throated and slightly hot and shivery state, I had an excellent time.  What’s not to like about this……

Plate

What about the pudding, though?  Well, normally, we have a shop bought, reasonably good quality pudding.  Add to that cream, custard and ice cream and you have a caveman’s nightmare.  Well, last year, I had it all – and the results weren’t pretty.

So, this year, I made my own paleo pudding and it was a triumph!Paleo Pud  It took a while but it was full of naturally good stuff, made with almond flour, carrots, sweet potato (no really, it was blooming excellent), dates and lots and lots of dried fruit.

It went up in flames at the table and was served with whipped coconut cream (which didn’t turn out exactly as planned, but I know where I went wrong).

So, our first real paleo Christmas and I felt no after effects at all.  Nothing to recover from.

Nothing like last year.

It just proves that good health and feeling great starts with – and is all about – food.

And maybe fasting, which I am now quite interested in.  I’ll let you know!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19112549

http://robbwolf.com/30-day-total-transformation/

Being Paleo on Holiday…….

…..is all about making choices, some better than others!

Now, I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, because I’ve been on holiday for a week in the sun, but during that time I’ve been trying to dodge the various ways wheat has been presented to me.  I haven’t always succeeded, I’ve been a bit stupid and I’ve suffered the consequences.

We love going to Mallorca in the school October break.  The big draws for me and my wife are not having to go to work (yeah, really), clean, organise the children’s social lives and cook.  For the kids, it’s the sun, the beach, swimming in the sea, ice cream and going to restaurants (a big treat).  Eating out is one of life’s greatest pleasures and the various restaurants in Puerto de Pollenca are fabulous.  As someone trying to reduce or remove his symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis with diet, I can avoid dairy easily.  Trying not to have wheat, on the other hand, has been a bit more difficult than I thought because it’s everywhere!

I’m writing this on the flight home.  At the moment, I am nursing a swollen index finger on my right hand, a sore right wrist, the bursa on my left wrist is a bit painful, I have swollen and sore feet, a painful right ankle and my right elbow (the barometer) is playing up.

Sounds like I’ve had a great holiday, eh?  Well, I have.  I’ve learned a few things as well, which is excellent!

I’m also playing at a party tonight.  We have a dash up the A1 from Newcastle, drop the wife and kids, then it’s off to the gig.  My band mates have come to my rescue (thank you Marky Mark) and have all of my gear, so I just have to pitch up.  With the state of my joints right now, tonight should be interesting and I’m a little worried!

But I’ve been here before.  I had a vicious flare up 7 years ago when I stopped responding to treatment and spent 2 years in and out of consulting rooms and trying different drugs to find something that worked.  I was a difficult case, resistant to some of the commonly used drugs.  I lost weight, I found walking difficult, I had constant, severe pain in most of my joints, I had trouble sleeping, my family, friends and work colleagues all looked at me with worried expressions as they could see I was in trouble.

I’m a drummer in a band playing at people’s parties – important events.  There’s a code, you don’t let people down.  It’s the ‘show must go on’ thing.  I continued to play throughout this flare up, only having to cancel one gig and only then because I was an inpatient receiving some much-needed bed rest.  I found drumming quite liberating, but I was exhausted after every gig and completely unable to tear down my gear.  My band mates, again, came to my rescue.

My consultants (I had 2 by this point) eventually found a combination of three drugs that worked a treat, but they gave me crippling indigestion so that was just no good.  Methotrexate was next, worked a bit but worked better when delivered by subcutaneous injection.  Anti TNF drugs came next.  Etanercept didn’t work but Adilamumab (Humira) did.  Within 4 hours of my first injection, I felt a noticeable benefit.

So that was me.  Self medicating with Methotrexate and Humira injections every month.  Over the course of the next 12 months, the dose of Methotrexate increased as did the frequency of both drugs, to once a week.  There they stayed until September 2011, when I started to think differently about what I was eating and I have been experimenting since.

So, what of this recent week of experimenting with food?

I love fish.  Eating in a place by the sea means that there’s always fresh fish on the menu.  But it’s not as simple as just grilling a fish, as we will find out.  Here are my good choices…

…and here are my bad choices…

…and here are the consequences…

 

As well as the above, I have sore feet, which is really poor show.  I hate having sore feet.  Standing and walking on sore feet is just crap, as anyone with sore feet will tell you.

Why?  Wheat is the thing that kills me and my feet.  I can stand (no pun intended) a little bit of dairy, but not much.  Wheat, on the other hand, is little more than poison.  Harsh, you think?  Wheat is the core of our system of nutrition, it is grown all over the world, it makes ‘our daily bread,’ it’s a major component of processed food and it’s in more things than you realise.  It is, quite literally, everywhere.

Wheat makes us fat, it contributes to the growth in obesity and diabetes, it inflames our guts, it hurts our organs, it makes approximately 40% of the human race ill in some way.  Yet we are encouraged to eat, eat and eat more whole grains!  We are killing ourselves slowly and, in people like me who have autoimmune problems, it is the thing that makes the difference between being well and being very ill.

Now, you probably think I’m completely mental.  I’m currently reading a very interesting book about the effects of wheat.  And, I have been experimenting with food for over a year now.  I know what makes my symptoms flare and it’s all things wheat.

Well, I’m off to be clean for a month.  I’m not going to spend that time in a bath – I’m going to do what I should have done this last week, make some good choices, which will cleanse my gut and make me well again!  I’ll keep you up to date with where these choices lead.

The wheat story hasn’t gone away, though, it’ll run and run.

Spectacularly Missing The Point, Twice!

Oh for the love of goodness!  I just read this article on the BBC News website:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19785006

In it, James Gallagher, the BBC’s Health and Science Reporter, says that scientists have genetically modified a cow so it produces milk that reduces allergic reactions. Flamin’ Eck!  He goes on to say that the poor thing was born without a tail. Really!  Then, as the beast hadn’t yet became pregnant, they pumped it full of hormones to kick-start milk production. Eeeeh Gads!

At this point, I was disgusted and interested all at once.

Now, I’m no fan of dairy.  I stopped eating/drinking dairy products a year ago.  Since then, I have dabbled and experimented with bringing dairy back into my diet.  If I do have any, it gives me a sore head and I break out in various itchy rashes.  I am now even less of a fan.

Cows make milk for the same reason as humans make milk – to feed their babies.  As a race, we understand that human breast milk is absolutely the best thing for our children and we have Government sponsored and charitable/voluntary organisations to help, encourage and support new Mums in doing the right thing.  Respek!  We do, however, treat new Mum cows with no respect at all.

Calves are taken away from their Mums after about 3 days, they’re fed milk substitutes and are either slaughtered for veal or allowed to develop into adults.  Mum cows are then milked intensively for about 10 months and then inseminated all over again (they have 2 months off to let their udders recover).  Sounds nice, eh?  This is highly unpleasant, especially when the bond between a cow and her calf is very strong and will last until the calf reaches adulthood.  A bit like us, then.

This intensive milking has some nasty side effects too, other than making the poor cow go a bit mad! Lameness, mastitis among other horrible things.  While we treat mastitis in humans, we just kill the cows.  Nice human people!

Right. I’m in danger of ranting, back to the BBC.  They go on to say………..

Cows milk contains beta-lactoglobulin.  Human milk doesn’t.  Beta-lactoblobulin causes an allergic reaction ergo Lactose Intolerance.  Hmmm, doesn’t that tell us something?  The researchers have said, “It’s not surprising that it constitutes a major milk allergen.”

Now, isn’t this just missing the point?  It’s only an allergen because it’s not designed for humans, it’s for cows.  Would we feel just as comfy drinking a hippo’s milk, a domestic cat’s milk, a dog’s milk?  Of course not!  Those animals make milk for their own babies, don’t they and, anyway, that would be disgusting!

We have already genetically modified our bovine friends to produce LOADS AND LOADS of milk satisfying our voracious need for sustenance.  So, we’ve done it once, we can do it again, tail or no tail!  That’s humanity for you – superior, arrogant and doing stuff just because we can and missing the point to boot.

Missing the Point 2.  I’ve had a busy week.  Well, the truth is, I gave myself a busy week!

My band were playing at a wedding on Saturday.  Weddings are hard work.  At a party, club or pub, we’d normally start at about 9/9:30, play for 1hr 15mins, have a break, play for another 1hr 15mins.  At a wedding, start times are typically earlier, clients want certain songs learned and played, bands have to mindful of the demographic and build the set around that.  The reality is, you have to play for longer, need more songs up your sleeve and you need to pay attention to the crowd and change the set list on the fly.

That meant dusting off quite a few songs we haven’t performed in a long time and adding a few more that we hadn’t done at all.  So, we rehearsed a bit more than we would normally in the week leading up to it.  I also made a new riser deck.

What’s a riser?  It’s a wee platform that gets the drums off the floor so I’m at eye level with my muso chums.  It also makes the band look much more professional.  It has nothing at all to do with being a show-off and being seen, you understand.  Nothing!

I have a riser deck already, but it was too big for this gig so I needed one that was small, fitted around a smaller kit and could be set up in a corner.  Now, as my wife pointed out, I didn’t really NEED to build one, especially as the bath panel is still at the top of the stairs and there’s other shit to do in the house.  She’s right, of course!  But it is BRILLIANT being on a riser (thanks Ringo) and I really WANTED one for this gig.  I had from the Monday to the Thursday to make it – pressure was on!

I did myself in.  What with work, cooking, ferrying the kids to various places, 2 band rehearsals and just getting through life, I really didn’t have time to do this.  By Wednesday, I had sore hands, my right elbow was playing up, my knees and feet were sore, getting through a 3 hour gig on Saturday was looking shaky and, worst of all, I had pissed off my wife!  Thoughts of injecting myself with my drugs crossed my mind – and not just for the arthritis!

I reminded myself that I was missing the point of what I’m trying to do.  I want to be drug free and prove that you really are what you eat!  So I didn’t.  By Friday (gig setup day) I was feeling OK.  By Saturday evening, I still had a sore elbow but nothing nearly as bad as Wednesday and I was feeling good.

We played, in total, for 3 hours and 20 minutes on Saturday night.  I have never played for so long – this is Bruce Springsteen territory – or been so bloody knackered!

Did I last the pace?  Absolutely!  AND I had more to spare.

Did I suffer the following day?  Not at all, I felt brand new.  Nothing hurt and I was up early and back at the hotel to tear down the gear.  I have chronic rheumatoid arthritis, I’m thinking this isn’t too shabby.

I have been feeling a bit off colour since, though, but I think it’s just because I’ve not caught up with my sleep.  I still haven’t resorted to injections and I’m determined not to miss the point again!

Nuff said.

Why Bread Really Isn’t Good For You……

…..and yoghurt too!

“Bloated, inflamed, stiff joints and a bit sore” is how I’d describe myself today.  Oh, so your diet isn’t working after all then, Scott ya big liar?  Actually, yes it still is – if I had stuck to it!

The family had some excellent fun on Saturday visiting my sister’s place – it’s always a houseful, loads of kids, a lot of noise but great craic when the family is together.  One big draw is the food.  My sister and her husband are great cooks and Indian cuisine is their forte.

This time, though, we were being treated to something a bit different – tandoori chicken and homemade nan cooked in their new wood burning tandoor oven.  This thing is a beastly, massive, heavy thing that sits about 4 feet high and can get up to 500°C.   When I stuck my hand in it – well, you have to really – it was a mere 320°C.

Why on Earth would anyone stick their hand in this?  Well, one has to get the dough into it somehow and I hadn’t had a shot.  After losing most of the hair on my right arm, I had a good few nans cooking beautifully inside the tandoor, as you can see….

Now – and this is where I put my stupid hat on – you can’t go through all of this without trying the stuff you’ve had a hand in cooking.  So I did.  3 actually.  AND some raita (yoghurt based condiment in case you didn’t know – I didn’t know what it was called until I looked it up just there).

So there’s me, paleo, clean, eating primally, feeling great and stuffing my face with the kind of food I know is very bad.  My wife did warn me – several times!  Even the youngest of my children drew an audible sharp breath when she saw what I was eating.  “I’ll be alright,” I said, “You just pay attention to your own food!”  There was no alcohol involved, this was my sober decision.

And now I feel like crap!

I was very busy all day Sunday too.  My band were having a technical rehearsal as we have a new mixing desk – always a good idea to spend some time getting to know the equipment (especially important stuff like the mixer) before getting to a gig and realising you can’t work it!  Anyway, it took about 5 hours to do everything and we ended up playing quite a lot.

This is when I noticed I wasn’t feeling so good.  I was a bit lethargic, a little sweaty after very little effort, slightly out of breath  and my right arm was getting quite sore.  My right elbow is my barometer.  If that’s sore, I’m generally under par.  It was sore.  I was way under par and not in a good golfy sort of way.

My skin was itchy too.  That’s what the slightest sniff of dairy does to me.  By the time I returned home from the rehearsal, I was completely knackered, feeling bloated, etc, everything I said right at the start.  Why?  Because I ate shit that’s no good!

Wheat inflames the gut.  People generally don’t notice this – but loads of people complain about feeling bloated after eating bread.  And it feeds your pleasure centre, releasing endorphins and making you want more.  Ever found a really nice loaf, french stick or speciality bread that you simply MUST HAVE MORE OF?  That’s what wheat does.  All we do is keep our guts inflamed.  Makes us fat too, but that’s another story!

In people like me, predisposed to autoimmune problems, an inflamed gut can trigger the autoimmune response.  Rheumatoid arthritis in my case.  So, cut out the crap food and reverse the disease – that’s the plan anyway.

Or it would be if I stuck to it – which I generally do, to be fair!

Dairy, on the other hand, is just simply perverse!  I have a memory from about age 5 when I thought, “It’s very odd that we drink another animal’s milk.”  Surely – this is me back to the present day now – we are designed to drink our mother’s milk up to a certain age and then never have milk again.  After all, our paleolothic ancesters didn’t milk cows and they lived during the time when the modern human genome was fixed.

We’re the only animal on the planet that does this AND we’re not genetically designed to take milk – no-one can argue that our genetic makeup has caught up since we started farming and milking livestock between seven and ten thousand years ago (depending what you read).  It’s a good source of protein, though, and it’s sustainable and available!  But, anyone who cuts out dairy for any length of time and goes back to it will have a bad reaction – end of.  Why would that happen if it’s so good for you.  The slightest sniff of dairy gives me a sore head and makes me want to have a wee barfamundo!

All of this nonsense that we call ‘healthy food’ is just making us sick.  Coeliac Disease, Lactose Intolerance, Vitiligo, Eczema, Rheumatoid Arthritis.  None of these would exist if we ate what we were designed to AND can you imagine what that would do for our crumbling healthcare system?

Well, my healthcare system is going to benefit from me.  My treatment costs upwards of £12,000 each year.  If I’m drug free and well, the NHS would save that money and I’d be WELL into the bargain!  Just by eating the right stuff.

So, no more wheat, dairy or anything else that’s not natural.  I will be drug free by the end of the year.

I will.